all RIGHT listen Up,
here we go.....
I am done with this attitude. I'm going to jump in the shower wash off all the negativity that I have allowed to build up from situations with other people. I'm gonna paint my toes a SPank'n bright color, get at least 7 hours of sleep, and tomorrow morning at 3:45am I am leave'n this funk behind me. I am gonna do what I want; where I want; with whom I want. I've decided that I'm not going to care about anything anymore. Well I'm as sure as HeLL gonna try.
And that is that.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
get'n back
does anyone else have a bipolar life?
cause i totally feel like my is.
earlier this year i was on a smooth road of contentment and finding out who i was. i read inspiring books, watched deep movies, made a whole list of things to be done, found a relationship, was reaching for opportunities for photographs, was honest to God wanting to get deeper in love with my Creator. then a couple months ago i face planted into a wall. i can't say with solid conviction what the wall is, but it has me stuck. i can't walk around it, i can't climb it, i can't dig under it. my nose is pressed firmly against the cold stone like i'm a mischievous kid who needs a time out. as far as i know i'm not deserving of a time out.
i want all this to change back to the "high". i want to be back to the happy. i want this stupid situation with my friend to be over. i want to have a passion to draw closer to God. i want to wake up and can't wait to find some adventure to photograph. i want to find the true someone ment for me. i don't want to be angry or depressed or in stuck looking at this wall
how do i change back?
how do i keep it from happening again?
what do i do?
cause i totally feel like my is.
earlier this year i was on a smooth road of contentment and finding out who i was. i read inspiring books, watched deep movies, made a whole list of things to be done, found a relationship, was reaching for opportunities for photographs, was honest to God wanting to get deeper in love with my Creator. then a couple months ago i face planted into a wall. i can't say with solid conviction what the wall is, but it has me stuck. i can't walk around it, i can't climb it, i can't dig under it. my nose is pressed firmly against the cold stone like i'm a mischievous kid who needs a time out. as far as i know i'm not deserving of a time out.
i want all this to change back to the "high". i want to be back to the happy. i want this stupid situation with my friend to be over. i want to have a passion to draw closer to God. i want to wake up and can't wait to find some adventure to photograph. i want to find the true someone ment for me. i don't want to be angry or depressed or in stuck looking at this wall
how do i change back?
how do i keep it from happening again?
what do i do?
Sunday, September 11, 2011
week in review
well to say the least Monday through Sunday wasn't the grandest in the history of Syd. Life once again has thrown me into chaos. I ended one relationship only to feel like another is shoved to the side. I've lived this whole week in a state of feeling lost. On top of that I've realized I lost my passion. I had always wanted to be one thing and one thing only. Then one day I woke up deciding that it wasn't what I wanted to do with my life. Now I feel like I have no direction. Maybe I need a change of scenery? A change of pace? Take a few risks to find what I'm looking for?
Where should I go? Back to Boise? Salt Lake City? I have friends in Las Vegas? I love San Francisco?
How am I suppose to do this?
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