we all seem to be under the impresstion that there is a "One". the one and only. the ying to our yan. the white knight or the goddess of our dreams. it seems that this person is to be our true love. the counter part made exclusively for us.
Some of us have shed this sweater of dishonesty and some are still in the illusion of there being the "One". I however want to declare that I do not believe in the "One". Nope your not gonna fool this duck. I have thought that I had discovered this true love more that once, but how is that possible when there is only "One" out there? Each time I fall into this illusion something or someone would happen to destroy my fantasy. With each guy I can detail what attracted me to them and the reason I thought they were the "One".
In total there seven of these so called "One"s.
The first was all the way back form childhood. He was the bad boy. Or at least the troubled kid at school that I thought was had bad boy image.
Second was the quite sweet type that doted on me and spent all his lunch money to make me happy.
The third maybe the most important at this moment of time. He was my everything and I his. He was my honest to God first love. The "One" I was gonna marry, The dad to my future chill'ns. The guy who was gonna mow the lawn and dust the snow off my car in the mornings. Non of that happened thank God! Because I up and moved to Id. Then minuets after he declared that he would wait for me; he was off to sleep with the skank at work,
then dump me.
Jerk!
Four and Five were just flings that ended badly.
Sixth was the jackpot! Bigger than number Three in all degrees. I'm tell'n you there were other peeps who thought it was sealed, but once again that didn't work out either. Which I'm ok with now.
More grateful than anything else cause he's disgustingly happy.
As for seven he's the real reason for this post. He isn't available in the slightest. NO matter how much I pray, how much I cross my fingers, how much I wish upon airplanes. he cant be mine. this is the second time in life I couldn't have what I want.
Its infuriating!
I have this gut instinct that #Seven would have the potential of being the "One" even through I don't believe in that anymore. The NUMBER ONE reason that #Seven and I will never tempt fate is because he is already commited to someone else.
(interjection: Ugh!! I'll rant about that to you later)
Meeting someone who is already take'n. Who you just can stop thinking about is BaD news.
The added fact that he stares at me with these gorgeous milk chocolate eyes which causes this unfounded panic that he knows exactly what I'm thinking. At this moment in time we are just friend. Most likely to remind that way forever.
Again life is unfair and love isn't a solid.
But, more of a liquid that you can hold for seconds before it slips away through your fingers.
Oy Vay!!
