I had started this blog with great anticipation.
That I would express to the world my extreme thoughts and ideas of greatness.
That I would record all the happening of my life
That I would be inspired to write more
That I would become a more cultured person, a more adventurous person, a more wanted person . . . .
And the list continues this way for miles upon miles then kilometers beyond that. In all reality my life has taken a turn for the worst. Emotionally, physically, spiritually, and socially. I thought that I was just in all the pulling away I was attempting. Only to succeed in hurting myself more than was actually needed.
Last week I watched "Eat, Pray, Love" with my mom. I was side swiped by how much I wanted to be this person who gives up on the disappointment of life, decides that she will find out who she is, and find the balance she craves in spirituality and the world. To accompilsh this she travels to Italy for the pleasure, India for the devotion and Indonesia for the balance of both pleasure and devotion. I immediately wanted to fly across the ocean to Italy, India, and Indonesia. Find who I was and get back to my once "ok" life.
What I realized was that I can't just pack up. The first problem was the lack of fair dust adn the second was the lack of money. I don't have any of either that goes beyond what covers my bills. Third problem was that I want to learn to find happiness here.
So to reinvent myself and find this balance of spirit and world I decided to barrow the 1001 list from another amazing blogger who I stumbled across just this afternoon. Its a list that gives you about 2.75 years to complete, many seasons for the organization and planing of completing tasks that need just a little more devotion.
In doing this I hope to find a little more me. Find a little more joy in the world. And find out where I truly stand in my beliefs. I'll have my list posted by Thursday night :0)
